Preferred stay length
Have you ever had your mum call five times a day asking for a status update on how your house search is going, and then sounding incredulous that not more progress has been made since the last phone call? That’s my life right now. But I’m hoping that will all change if I can be your roomie. Good thing is, I can bring more to the table then just an overbearing mum- let me tell you more.
I'm looking to move back to Melbourne after a year of having a Eat, Pray, Love moment in Europe which was actually nothing like the movie and instead of finding love, I ended up working on super yachts as a stewardess (more like a glorified maid) in the South of France.
You're probably thinking, 'what the hell does a stewardess do and why does this have anything to do with a roommate'. Well my friend, I have learnt some valuable and impressive skills that are quite transferable in a sharehouse environment..I hope you're sitting down for this..
I can fold a fitted sheet in approx 10, can fluff the most deflated pillow and do hospital corners on a bed that would do the nursing fraternity proud.
What else. Well I am amused by most things. I find the positive in most things. I like people and conversation and stories, a lot. I sometimes have the attention span of a potato though. From what everyone tells me, I’m pretty laid back / chill. I get bothered by very little, (named "most jovial lass in Australia" by a random American!) but also like a bit of structure and throw a dash of routine in the mix (meal prepping Sunday is my jam). I like to think I work on the optimistic side of realism. I’m a sucker for dad jokes, Phil Dunphy is my spirit animal and I have a slight obsession with New Girl and Broad City because it’s a confident boost when I question what I’m doing with my life. I’m fairly active, love the gym but will pour water on my face because my idea of the gym is walking on the treadmill while scrolling through uber eats or Pinterest food boards.I enjoy the occasional boogy at Thursgay, yep I’m a lesbian but a horrible butch (don’t drink beer, can’t change a tire and my friends don’t let me near the bbq) but dang I’m the best wingman and will save you from any tinder dates and I’m so down for beauty nights. I have no rhythm in dancing but if I have a few drinks there is no stopping me and now to think of it, it’s probably why I’m still single. I’m still on the pursuit to find the meaning of life but I think I came pretty close the other day when I had deep fried Nutella french toast. I love food. Food is life and life is good. I sometimes go to Costco on the weekends and have a free lunch with all the sample stands, not all heroes wear capes. All that aside, I’m looking for a place for downtime and less of a revolving door...as in if your parents came over for a surprise visit, Judith and Gazza wouldn’t drop dead from the vibration of trance music flowing down the hallway to beer bongs hanging off our dining room chandelier and with random girl Stacey spewing her guts up in our beautiful vase that we just bought at a flee market. (Side note-I do tend to blaze some Il Divo and Adele on weekends when I clean). With that being said, I’m all for fambam dinners/drinks/watching trashy tv shows and gossiping over some good wine and cheese (ps did you hear that Brad and Jen are dating again). I’m respectful and have lived withothers so I’m perfectly trained in all the usual things, communal spaces, house rules etc. Oh I have been praised for never missing bin days which is outlined in my key achievements on my resume.
|Maximum number of flatmates||Flexible|