|Room Type||Private room|
|Furnishing||Flexible with furnishings|
|Length of Stay||Minimum 3 months|
|Bond||4 weeks rent|
|Bills||Not included in rent|
|Internet||Available but not included in rent|
|Parking||Off street parking|
Good morning/afternoon/middle of the night or whatever time of day you happen to have decided to click on my little ad (thanks, by the way).
I am seeking a tenant (duh, no shit) to move in to the master bedroom in a two bedroom flat in Collingwood.
$1083.50 per person per month
Roughy $250.00 per week
All bills (electricity, water, internet) split equally
Internet is paid on a monthly basis and is on an unlimited plan
2 bedrooms (master bedroom available with access to balcony and built-in robe)
Furnished kitchen and living area (not furnished in bedroom)
Covered parking space
The flat is spacious and perfectly situated off Smith and Gertrude Street. Considering the location, and the fact that it is two bedrooms, it is reasonably priced for one of the prime suburbs of inner-Melbourne.
The property is on the edge of the CBD surrounded by cafes, restaurants, bars and shopping; and accessible public transport to and from the city.
*Me, myself and I:
22 years young
Work in hospitality
%90 coffee, %10 whatever else makes up your body- alcohol maybe?
Arrived on Earth to study human life forms. You are all very confusing creatures and I am still learning how to behave according to your social customs.
*(That was intended to be a quirky heading, not an indication of egotistical mania).
I work most nights and am often out during the day so we will have our respective space, but it would be good to go out sometimes, hang out at home, etc. I have heard that human interaction is generally a good thing.
I have a preference for a female tenant, but if you are of the male persuasion and are particularly interested you may as well apply anyway. Aged between 20-25 years.
Selection will require you to attend an informal interview and the final few will compete in a series of challenges, ending in an ultimate a fight to the death. (Decide for yourself which of those requirements are the truth).
This is not a roomshare! It is in the cafe strip in Collingwood! It has two bedrooms for two people- that is one person per bedroom! How many times can I say this stuff before it sounds like one of those shouty ads for carpets?
If you are interested, or would like more information please contact me. I am happy to meet with you and/or show you around.
Thanks for reading my bullsh*t and I hope to speak to you soon.