|Room Type||Private room|
|Length of Stay||Minimum 6 months|
|Bond||4 weeks rent|
|Bills||Some included in rent|
|Internet||Unlimited included in rent|
|Parking||Off street parking|
ROOM NOT AVAILABLE, WE ARE LOOKING FOR A PLACE NOT OFFERING ONE
Hello prospective heat source.
Do you like to sleep hidden safely away from the deadly cancer rays of the evil sun and suspicious moon beams? Do you suffer from people saying strange language noises in your face and not being able to place inanimate objects between them and yourself? Do you know how many shark attacks happen on land every year? No one does because no one ever survives to tell of it.
Lucky for you we have one exciting 3 dimensional space showing no signs of habitation, safe from everything that is probably trying to kill you right now. Notable features include 4 walls, standard earth gravity, realistic daylight cycle, carbon tax free air and a door popularly used keep everything that isn’t yourself out of your bio shelter. Are you fond of clear silicon viewing portals? We hope so because it has one and it is not removable.
Do you like MAD SCIENCE! Then be amazed as you have unlimited access to the latest in AC-DC technology practically gushing from every wall your eyes gaze. So much Power! Who could stop you now? Exact your revenge on all who doubted you. The possibilities are endless. User discretion advised.
So, you suffer from pathetic hooman skin that hates even a slight change in temperature? Don’t worry, you will be safely protected with centralized magic wind that emanates from under the house. What is the source of this powerful and possibly evil magic? None of your dam business!
Do you shave your entire body like a weirdo and don’t want anyone to find out? Then you could use your own bathroom, for a limited time only each space time dimension comes with its own private bathroom.
Do you need a constant stream of digital data techno juice beamed into your life every minute or else your heart stops beating? Then be relieved at the prospect of FREE 100mb/s symmetrical FTTP fiber beamed directly into your soul using the well-received 5 GHz radiation waves, or 2.4 GHz if you are one of those filthy heathens.
But what if you wish to leave the confines of your safety bubble? What are you crazy? That is madness! But if you do you can expect to encounter the following
• Two wild Hoomans appear. 1 Male, 1 Female. They seem to live close by, possibly in one of the other dimensional spaces. Avoid eye contact and they can’t see you! They appear to be mid 20’s full time workers, quiet, happy, chill and easy to get along with. Social interaction is optional. Throwing raspberries at them to make them easier to catch has been known to work.
• A Media consumption projector theatre room networked into the data servers for unlimited Anime, Sci fi and Movies. This room also contains a dining table (but no one knows what it is for, explore the mystery!)
• A large relaxing chill out multipurpose sun room setup for stereophonic enjoyment, gaming LAN parties, board games, beanbags, lounges and a yoga matt. This room also contains the centralized data servers, network stacks and offshore seedbox VPN.
• Your aforementioned own bathroom well lit with an extremely large mirror to stare at yourself for hours.
• Large renovated kitchen, laundry and undercover area outside.
• Undercover parking, secure back yard and a large secure shed.
• A small white Doggo of the Poodle variant, he has an extensive joke collection and is scared of never living up to his parent’s expectations.
Quick! You have set yourself on fire and you need to escape, what is nearby?
• 10 minute walk to RMIT Bundoora and the Tram line.
• 5.8km tram ride to La Trobe University.
• 100 meters from Bus stop that goes to local train stations or down Plenty valley road.
• 2km from Metropolitan Ring Road if you drive.
• 1km walk to local shops.
Excuse the terrible pictures, it’s so you know we are strange, weird, happy nerdy people. We are hoping for someone who wouldn't mind having fun and living with people like us :)
Disclaimer: 4th dimensional room costs extra
We are two mid 20's full time workers. We are nerdy, geeky, ridiculous but also quiet and chill. We have multiple jobs in a wide variety of fields. I manage imports of vegan foods for places like Lord of the Fries and I'm also a Cisco network engineer. The other housemate is a baker of glorious cupcakes and a warehouse manager. We don't really party, we respect the gods of sleep because we work so much. We are non smokers and are fairly clean and tidy. But not "hospital clinical grade" clean :P We love to make hot custard on a cold night and watch a movie or play a board game. I enjoy long online gaming sessions.
We believe social interaction should optional. We are extremely relaxed and chill. We won't be all up in your face / business if you don't want it :D Being at home is a safe, relaxing place to make your own and escape the world. We don't mind hanging out, listening to music, cooking and playing board games.
We don't mind being up at any hour of the night.
Everything in our house is to be shared, we don't want someone who feels they have to stay hiding in their room.
The only thing we don't want is someone who doesn't work, doesn't study and just stays home on welfare with no goals of their own.
We are very open minded and accepting, you don't have to be like us, we just wanted to make sure that people know as much as possible the kind of dorky weirdo's we are so they don't get surprised later on.