How to Tell Your Flatmate You’re Moving Out: 13 Tips
Friday March 3 2023
New year, new flatmate! With so many sharers hoping to spread their wings at the start of the year, expect to see lots of movement in our flatmates community over the next few months. But what’s fab for you might not be fab for the flatmates you’re leaving behind.
How will you break the news to your flatties? Whether your share house is a cosy place populated with friends who feel like family, or it’s strictly a business arrangement with flatmates you barely know, there are some basic ground rules that will make for a smooth departure. Let’s dive in.
1. Give plenty of notice
Check your tenancy agreement to find out how much notice you’re required to give when you’re leaving, and plan to give your housemates at least that much time.
After all, it’s likely they’ll want to have someone else rent your room, and that takes time to organise. Give your household plenty of notice so they can get their heads around your departure, then advertise for — and hopefully find — a new flatmate.
If your tenancy agreement doesn’t specify a notice period, aim to tell your flatties 4 weeks before you’ll be moving out. And if your circumstances won’t allow you to stay for the full notice period, offer to pay the rent up to then, so that your housemates aren’t left out of pocket by your hasty departure! If you don’t you’re kinda pulling a v shitty move tbh.
2. Arrange to tell them face-to-face
Love ‘em or barely like ‘em, it’s best to tell your flatmates in person that you’re leaving. This way, you can gauge their responses through their body language as well as their words, and respond in real-time. This helps you to make sure no one feels left in the lurch, and means you can leave the house on good (or at least reasonable) terms with those who stay.
If you live with more than one person, try to tell everyone together, so no one’s getting the news second-hand. Arranging a suitable time with them can be a better idea than just trying to catch your housemates when you see them, which can eat into the notice period you want to give.
3. Give a reason
Explain to your housemates why you’re leaving. Without some kind of explanation, they may end up thinking they’re the problem, and even if they are, it’s best to leave on good terms.
Your flatmates don’t need to know that you’re over their loud parties and long for the quiet life; just tell them you’re moving closer to uni or work, or whatever other facts justify your departure.
4. Mention what you love about living there
If you like your flatties, or they seem disappointed in your news, don’t hesitate to mention what you’ve enjoyed about sharing a place with them. This will help soften the news, and ensures everyone feels as good as possible about the change.
Even a simple, “It’s been great living here with you” is better than nothing at all, but if you’re good friends with your flatmates, don’t hold back: tell them exactly what you’ll miss in life without them. You know what I won’t miss? My flatmates eating all of my eggs, but sure.
5. Listen to their response
In some cases, the news of your departure will be a serious disappointment to your share house buddies. Perhaps they had a lot of trouble finding The Right Person for the Spare Room (that’s you, Right Person!), or you haven’t stayed as long as you’d (or they’d) expected … or they simply like life with you in it!
On the other hand, you might be surprised to find that they’re actually fine with your move, and start to discuss finding your replacement. That can help relieve any guilt you might feel about leaving. So, let them express their feelings about your news.
6. Empathise
Whatever your roomies’ response is, empathise with them. If they’re sad you’re leaving, empathise. And if they’re eagerly talking about another friend who’d make a great flatmate, empathise!
Try to put your feelings about the move aside for a moment, and focus on understanding their perspective. If you can share their feelings, you’ll help smooth your departure from the share house, and that can only be a good thing for you and them.
7. Discuss the date of your final rent payment
Once everyone’s got their heads around your announcement, it’s time to talk about the practicalities. When will your tenancy end, and when will you make the final rent payment?
How much will it be? Make sure everyone’s clear on these details and that you all agree, and consider putting them in writing after your conversation if you feel that would be helpful.
8. Clarify conditions and date for the return of your bond
Most of us pay some kind of bond at the start of any share-house adventure. How and when will you get the bond back? What conditions will you have to meet to get it back in full? Is there any damage that you or your housemates already know will be taken out of your bond?
Discussing this now helps set the right expectations among everyone involved, so there are no surprises on moving day. Again, put this in writing after the conversation if you feel that would keep potential confusion at bay.
9. Talk about room inspections for potential tenants
Will your flatmates want to start looking for a new roomie immediately? If so, how will you all handle inspections of your space by possible new renters?
Your flatmates might be happy to leave them until after you’ve left, but in some cases, they might want to show someone the space before you leave. Make sure you’re all on the same page about when inspections will happen and whether you will be present for them or not.
10. Discuss what you want to leave…
If there’s something you want to leave in the house — an old couch or a fridge, for example — let your flatmates know. Many’s the flatmate who moves to a new place that’s already fully furnished, and has had to get rid of stuff they’d bought to fill the last rental.
Perhaps that couch has seen better days. In that case, you might want to give it to the household before you leave. But if the items you’re leaving have value, consider offering them to your old flatties for a discount price. If they don’t bite, you can always sell the stuff on Gumtree instead.
11. …and what you want to take
Maybe share-households buy stuff together. You might have gone in together on gaming consoles, pieces of furniture or cooking equipment, for example.
So, if you want to take some of those things with you when you move, make sure your roommates know ahead of time. That way, you can be certain everyone’s okay with the plan — and you can all agree on how much you’ll pay them for their shares in that BBQ, too.
12. Ask for help if you need it
Moving house is hard work, so don’t be shy about asking for help — whatever that means for you.
You might need physical help on moving day. You might ask to pay your remaining rent in instalments if getting the bond together for your new place has left you a bit broke. You might simply need a hand packing up your stuff. If you need help, and you’re comfortable to ask your flatmates for it, don’t hesitate.
13. Offer help where you can
Of course, you should offer help where you can, too. If your current housemates really want to find a new tenant before you leave, help out by allowing prospective tenants to inspect your room (if you feel comfortable with that).
Perhaps you know someone who’d be perfect to take over your room — say so. Do what you reasonably can to make the transition easy on them, and you’ll always be remembered as a great flatmate!
