Flatmate faux pas: When flatmates bunk together

by Aaron

Share-homes come with a number of mutually understood rules that exist despite never being written down or spoken about.


These rules generally relate to everyday courtesies such as cleaning up after yourself; replacing the toilet roll; and keeping the noise down at night. But there is one such unspoken rule that, when broken, can come with a number of anxieties and social implications:

Flatmates don’t sleep with each other.

It’s not just those doing the proverbial who can feel a sudden onset of anxiety, but also those they live with; those who fear living in the aftermath when things get ‘awkward’.

It might seem weird to be this invested in your flatmates’ sex lives, but the concern isn’t completely unfounded. Their casual relationship could quickly turn sour, potentially dragging the entire house dynamic down.

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So, recently you’ve noticed the flirting between your flatmates has hit warp speed.

Here are some crazy and not so crazy thoughts that might cross your mind, accompanied by gifs that will enable you to get through this entirely adult matter.

Should I try and stop them?

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Handing out a chastity belt to each flatmate isn’t the solution, and to a lesser extent, neither is telling each other what to do. Let’s face it, telling someone they can’t do something will only drive the curiosity further.

In the end, it will either happen or it won’t. Perhaps all they need is to get it out of their system?

If they sleep together will the entire share house dynamic implode?

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Not unless you let it.

It can be easy to caught up in the lives of those you live with. Let things run their course. Don’t prompt things will go sour by constantly talking about them or trying to plan for an armageddon.

The most likely scenario is the deed will be done and things will never even change.

What if it becomes a regular thing?

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What happens when the flatmates decide to go back for seconds or even thirds? If it continues to the detriment of them being social or inclusive of other flatmates, there might be an issue.

Obviously, you should never begrudge someone a meaningful relationship. Should something more blossom out of their midnight rendezvous and they’re now ‘official’, it might just be time for a serious conversation.

You’ll need to chat about the prospect of couples in the home and/or if they should find a new love-nest.

What if things do get weird?

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Where does the awkwardness stem? The flatmates doing the dirty or those they live with? If the problem lies with the other flatmates anxiety that things will get weird, it might be time to reassess the situation.

Should things actually get weird and it’s affecting those involved and their flatmates, it could be time for one or both to move out. It’s important to recognise when it’s time to move on and have a frank conversation with the flatmate about going separate ways.

Should I sleep with my flatmate?

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Are you kidding? All those crazy thoughts and now you wanna get in on the action?

  • Aaron
  • support@flatmates.com.au
  • Aaron is the Flatmates.com.au's Community Manager and PR guy. He is an avid supporter and user of share accommodation, currently living with two (lucky) flatmates.
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