$400/week•41 year old man
Here’s what you should know about me:
Bio:
I’m 5’9 in real life, 6’4” in emotional intelligence.
A proud plant parent (most are alive, RIP tomatoes & Strawberries 2022), plus my fur baby HAPPY a yellow Labrador, who is alive & well I promise.
I got stuck in a revolving door, and instead of panicking, I did three full laps for the drama, I believe life’s too short to skip the free samples at Myer, and I’ll fight anyone who says pineapple doesn’t belong on pizza.
I once tripped at a wedding, but instead of recovering gracefully, I stayed on the floor and clinked glasses with the flower girl. I’m that person who makes friends with the bartender, laughs too loudly at my own jokes, and firmly believes socks should never match unless it’s an emergency.
What I’m looking for:
Someone who laughs at my terrible puns, shares memes at 2 a.m., and won’t judge me for my lack of dancing skills or for my unmatched ability to forget why I walked into a room.
Bonus points if you’re cool with spontaneous road trips and carry snacks at all times.
Fun Fact:
I can perfectly recite Gilligan’s Island, Mr Ed, Brady Bunch and many other TV show theme songs, but will never admit how much time I spent learning them.
More seriously
I can parallel park on the first try 80% of the time, but I still yell “Nailed it!” like it’s a rare event.
More seriously, after owning my own home I have needed to sell my house due to divorce. I am reliable, work full time, clean, tidy and very respectful of people and personal space. Please note I do no have children but I do have a dog, for which I can not give away. I am genuinely hoping this wont be a problem.
I hope to hear from you
Mike
Available now
