Sam

I smell amazing.
I'm not too handsome so I don't think you should worry about getting completely lost in my eyes and accidentally chopping off the tip of your finger while we have a chat in the kitchen.
I'm an alright listener and I try to pay attention to small details that I can remember for later on when it's time to buy you a gift.
I'm single so you'll get to hear anecdotes about all of my hilariously bumbling failed encounters in the dating world.
The most valuable thing I have to offer is my friendship. Not only mine though, if you stick with me kid I will introduce you to a million of the finest, most loveable people in this town. I'm only slightly inflating those figures I promise.